1. Suddenly becoming conscious of your walk and instantly losing all motor skills.
2. Open birthday card. PRETEND NOT TO NOTICE MONEY WHILE READING CARD.
3. Attractive person talked to me. MUST BE A PRANK.
4. Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best.
5. “Yay, the weekend!” NO HUMAN INTERACTION UNTIL MONDAY.
6. Start same sentence three times already. SOMEONE TALKS OVER YOU EVERY TIME.
7. Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it.
8. Parents have company over. STAY IN YOUR ROOM UNTIL THEY LEAVE.
9. Being unable to say, “Well this is fun.” without sounding like you’re having the worst time of your life.
10. Saying, “Anywhere here’s fine.” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door.
11. “Ok class find a partner.” OH GOD NO.
12. Accidentally makes a sound that sounds like a fart. KEEPS MAKING IT TO CONFIRM THAT IT WASN’T A FART.
13. Not quite catching someone’s name, meaning you must avoid them for the rest of your life.
14. Wants human interaction when alone. WANTS TO BE LEFT ALONE WHEN AROUND PEOPLE.
15. Concentrate hard on making eye contact during conversation. MISS CONVERSATION BECAUSE I WAS CONCENTRATING TOO HARD ON MAKING EYE CONTACT.
16. Has imaginary argument in head. MAKES CORRESPONDING FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND LOOK INSANE.
17. Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying, “I think that’s right.”
18. Walk down the sidewalk with two friends. WALK BEHIND THEM SINCE THERE’S ONLY SPACE FOR TWO PEOPLE.
19. When you grab an escalator handrail and graze someone else’s hand, then you make eye contact as you pull it away.
20. Play friends your favorite song. “IT GETS BETTER IN A MINUTE.”
21. Someone sits next to you as you’re about to get up and leave. WAIT A COUPLE MINUTES TO NOT HURT THEIR FEELINGS.
22. Makes phone call. “OH GOD, PLEASE DON’T PICK UP!”
23. “Leave a message after the tone.” OH GOD, I DIDN’T PREPARE FOR THIS.
24. Someone knocks on the bathroom door while you’re in it. NO IDEA HOW TO RESPOND.
25. Call someone. ADRENALINE RUSH.