Me: Tracking shows delivered but shipment not received
Amazon: Warmest greetings […] my name is Thor.
Me: Greetings, Thor. Can I be Odin?
Amazon: Odin, Father, How art thy doing on this here fine day?
Me: Thor, my son. Agony raises upon my life.
Amazon: This is outrageous! Who dares defy The All Father Odin! What has occurred to cause this agony?
Me: I’m afraid the book I ordered to defeat our enemies has been misplaced. How can we keep Valhalla intact without our sacred book?
Amazon: This is blasphemy! Wherever this book has been taken to, I shall make it my duty to get it back to you! I fear it is Loki but I dare not blame him for such things. I shall have your fortune returned to you and thereafter we can create a new quest in order to get the book back to you.
Me: Very well my son.
Amazon: Allow me some time to round up my allies and complete this my father.
Me: Do it for me Thor, but most importantly do it for the mortals whose destiny (and grades) rely on this book.
Amazon: Alas, the treasure has been returned to you. You now need to reinstate your book into your archive so that you may yet receive it soon. I shall have the Valkyrie deliver it to you as fast as their wings can move.
Me: Ok so roleplay aside I have my money back and reorder the book?
Amazon: haha yes I have refunded you and you need to reorder the book.
Me: Great!
Amazon: Have you placed the order
Me: Let me do that
done
Amazon: Okay let me edit it for you […] that good?
Me: Wow hooking me up for one day delivery? Sweet!
Amazon: Haha yea man gotta get your book asap!
Me: I’ve heard Amazon has great customer service and this just proves it! thanks man
Amazon: No problem, is there any other issue or question that I can help you with?
Me: Nah that was it. Really appreciate it
Amazon: Anytime bro. Have a great day. Goodbye Odin
Me: Bye my son.