If you’re like me, you have a hard time being around children at times. It’s not the fact that we don’t love them it’s just the fact that they have the ability to be creepy when you least expect it.
I think that is how most of you will feel when you read the following 10 things that children say to their babysitters. It’s bad enough to be in a strange house around strange people but then you hear these things being said is absolutely over-the-top.
I would tell you to enjoy these sayings, but more than likely, they are just going to keep you up at night.
1. A few years ago, I was putting my friends daughter to bed for the night. She was about 3 at the time, and she was fighting going to sleep. She asked me why she had to go to bed and I said “because it’s late and it’s time for little girls to get a good nights rest.” She then pointed at nothing across the room and said “what about that little girl?”
2. Two years ago, was looking through my elementary school yearbook with my 5-year-old cousin, when we were at a page with a second-grade class, she pointed to a boys photo and said “that looks just like Nicholas!” when asked who Nicholas was she just said “the boy in my closet” and kept on looking through the pictures. I almost died.
3. Little kids know stuff, man. My niece is four and she talks about her ‘older sister’ constantly. She is always talking to her too. She is an only child and has no idea her mother had a previous pregnancy a few years back there was a midterm loss. Weirds me out something major.
4. I was heading to the bathroom on the second floor my aunt’s house when I saw my cousin, April, on the stairs. April’s four and very animated. She was busy making funny faces while sitting on the stairs. I asked her what she was doing. She said “I’m copying the lady with the braid.” I looked around, there was no one else but us. I asked, “where’s the lady, April?” She pointed to a beam running parallel to the stairwell. I asked April, “what is the lady doing?” She said, “making funny faces.” I smiled and started walking up the stairs again when April said something to stopped in my tracks. April, “her braids is around her neck.” I turned back and asked April to repeat herself. April pointed, “the lady is hanging by her braid, she’s making funny faces.” Then April started making a face which I then realized was someone gasping for air.
5. I was looking after Jack (a five-year-old) who said a man named Jacob who dressed like a lumberjack was sitting next to be on the couch. He must’ve seen the shock in my face and said “don’t worry, he doesn’t have any arms.”
6. My little nephew used to talk about a woman who would visit his room at night. He said she wore a red dress, that her name was Frannie and that she would sing to him… And that she floats.
7. I watch a few kids while their parents were at a movie. Up with the youngest kid (4) to sleep and watch TV till the parents came home. The next day the parents called. According to the 4-year-old kid I stood in the doorway and stared at him for a very long time, smiling. I was so confused I didn’t know what to say.
8. My friend and I were babysitting her four-year-old cousin one night and she really believed in all that reincarnations stuff and decided to test our theories of the little cousin. She began asking questions that he didn’t quite understand but then stated it simply, “what were you before you were (kids name)? He replied that he was a conductor waved his hands in the motion the conductor would. The problem with this was that the little boy was born blind.
9. A few years ago, I was babysitting her friends daughter. They lived in an apartment with a big patio window. She walked up to the glass door leading up to the patio and stared motionless into the night for several minutes. Shortly after, she runs into my arm saying “Scary. Too scary.” She would let me put her down and demanded that I hold her and rock her for the next half hour. Eventually she started repeating over and over: “the dark coming inside now. The dark coming inside now.”
10. I was cuddling with my friends 3-year-old son and he said very seriously, “I promise I will never chew on your bones. I promise.”