Let’s face it, you have to work for a living and if that is the case, you are going to have to deal with coworkers. Some of them may end up becoming your best friends but others are just going to be there to provide background noise. At the very least, we must deal with them and all of their idiosyncrasies.
If you have coworkers, you are certain to find these tweets to be absolutely hilarious. They are not only something that people do to get a laugh, it is a great way to blow off some steam when the going gets tough.
1. Sounds Yummy
[break room]
coworker: what's for lunch?
me: [eating] food, generally
cw: no, I mean what are you having?
me: an unwanted conversation
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) March 4, 2016
2. But nicknames are so funny
Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner.
— Ceej (@ceejoyner) January 12, 2015
3. What could possibly go wrong?
RAN INTO A COWORKER AT TARGET. DIDN'T WANT HER TO KNOW I WAS BUYING BABY CLOTHES FOR MY CAT SO I TOLD HER I'M PREGNANT
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) March 3, 2015
4. You must be honest in the workplace
Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home?
Me: I don't even think about work at work.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 18, 2016
5. Could be a long time
Just waiting to see how long until my coworkers realize that my robbery story is just the lyrics to Gloria Gaynor's "I will Survive".
— Woody (@WoodyLuvsCoffee) March 25, 2016
6. This hits close to home
The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) January 12, 2015
7. Good plan
I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don't have to talk to them.
— Sweet Slips (@Ndeshi_M) May 14, 2015
8. Just roll with it people
A girl named Ruth quit working at our office. I've been referring to the office as "ruthless" since then. People are pissed.
— gerry hall (@gerryhallcomedy) June 30, 2015
9. You might want to check that
A thing I learned at this week's staff meeting is I like to cuddle as I fall asleep.
— Just Bill (@WilliamAder) April 20, 2016
10. There has to be another solution
Office fun: replace your coworker's mouse with a larger mouse so he thinks his hands are shrinking then call him "baby hands" until he quits
— vineyille (@vineyille) July 16, 2013
11. That’s not nice
Brings donuts to work because if I can't be skinny neither can you.
— Miss Kerri (@kwirkyKerri) October 25, 2015
12. It’s better for you anyway
[waiting for elevator]
Coworker: Hey, how's it go-
Me: I'll take the stairs.— moody monday (@mdob11) December 26, 2014
13. You might want a new plan
Accidentally made eye contact w/co-worker thru bathroom stall door crack. Didn't know what to do so I blew him a kiss
— Mayor P (@punmagnate) August 19, 2013
14. Might as well just quit now
We all have this colleague who, we hope, quits his job so everyone in the office is happy. If you don't know any such person, quit your job.
— pnkj (@AskThePankazzzz) May 15, 2014
15. Let’s hope it lasts
Best thing about dating someone in office: No long phone convos as you meet each other daily.
Worst thing: You've to meet each other daily.— A muse sing (@LoKarloFollow) January 13, 2013
Via: Distractify
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