If there is one thing I’ve come to understand about listening to people, it that you should never answer them before they are finished talking. At times, they may end their sentence with something that is completely unexpected. Not only has this led to some uncomfortable situations on my part, there are also plenty of times when it turns quite funny at the end as well.
That is what you are about to see. On Twitter, where the user has a limited number of characters to get their point across, people have become quite efficient at conversation. It’s amazing how much you can actually say in only 140 characters. Even those who have something amusing to say have gotten in on the joke, as you are about to see.
Take a look down through these tweets, but make sure you read them to the end. There is a funny and surprising twist to each of them.
My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard.
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) August 7, 2013
WIFE: [handing me crying baby] will u please change him
ME: ok
[drives to hospital]
ME: hi yes my baby is crying can i get a new one— jomny sun (@jonnysun) August 15, 2016
roses r red
violets r blue
sunflowers r yellow
i bet u were expecting someting romantic but no this is just gardening facts
— pakalu papito (@pakalupapito) July 11, 2014
[backstage at a concert] hey guys you mind signing this?
[next day at car dealership] rascal flatts is your cosigner?— brent (@murrman5) September 15, 2015
Capitalization can really change a sentence.
Example:
I love to eat candy.
I love to eat capitalization.
— Nathan Usher (@thenatewolf) June 27, 2014
Calm down shouty museum man. I think it's pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
— Noodles (@Dawn_M_) February 11, 2015
Rob thank god you picked up! Hey remember when you said if I needed a place to crash I cou- hold on *to copilot* STOP CRYING, ROB WILL HELP
— vineyille (@vineyille) June 27, 2013
top numbers rankings
1) 1
2) 2
3) 3
4) 4
5) 27, surprisingly
— local badboy, (@hippieswordfish) October 12, 2014
ME: [licking lips in anticipation] I'm nervous. I've never done a bungee jump before.
INSTRUCTOR: don't lick my lips again.— Paul (@FrenulumBreve) August 19, 2015
"That'll be $19.94."
*pulls out $50 bill*
"Sorry, we've had a problem with counterfeit bills. Have anything smaller?"
*pulls out $25 bill*— Blind Chow (@BlindChow) February 1, 2015
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I'd been invited to an autopsy.
— d i v e r s i o n (@Diversion50) November 1, 2014
Via: Buzz Feed
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