There are certain discussions that can be uncomfortable, even if they were not originally meant to be so. One of those discussions is about tampons, and when a mother discusses it with her daughter, the results can sometimes be hilarious. It can be difficult to find tampons in the drugstore when you are 13. It seems as if they hide them in an out-of-the-way area and they certainly don’t point you in that direction.
If they were labeled properly and in an easy to find area, life would be much easier. Belinda Hankins posted a text message conversation between her and her 13-year-old daughter. She was helping her to find tampons and the conversation is going viral.
“THIS was the highlight of my parenting week. Sending my 13-year-old daughter into the store for (whispers) ‘feminine hygiene products,’ and having the following text exchange,” Hankins writes. “I died, she gave me life, I died again. And she drew an illustration, on the spot, ON HER PHONE, to drive her point home.”
This is so good, on so many levels. Let’s break it into parts, shall we?
Part I: Disbelief
“THEY’RE NOT HERRREEEEE” We feel you. We really do. No idea why the tampons are always hidden. They are the “product that shall not be named.”
Part II: Despair
“I SEE NONE,” daughter laments. “I swear on my life they are there,” says mum. “Try near nappys.” Try near nappys. Dying. Why do they put tampons near nappys? It’s so weird.
Part III: Hope
“OH WAIT. They’re here tucked away in the a corner, unlabelled.” Bingo! “They labelled a tiny shelf of joint braces but not the massive aisle of stuff for your vagina??????” She’s learning the secrets of the world at such a young age. Vaginas are never to be mentioned. Never. Unless we’re telling women what to do with them, of course — but that’s a topic for another article.
“VAGINAS ARE MYTHS, WHISPERED QUIETLY IN SECRET AMONG ONLY THE BRAVEST OF MEN, COURAGEOUS ENOUGH TO EVEN MENTION THE NAME.” This is the quote of a 13-year-old. And she is our new hero.
Part IV: Clarity
“BUT SERIOUSLY, WHY ARE MEN SO AFRAID OF WOMEN AND THEIR VAGINAS,” the very smart 13-year-old asks. “DO THEY THINK IF THEY ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR EXISTENCE WE WILL SHOOT OUR LASER ESTROGEN BEAMS OUT OF OUR EYES AT THEM AND DISINTEGRATE THEM WITH EASE?” If only.
Part V: Female level, pro, unlocked
We hereby request all stores change the name of the “feminine hygiene product” aisle to “THE VAGINA ZONE.”
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