We all have decisions that we need to make in life and at times, those decisions are not going to be the most popular. There may even be times when you can consider our choices to be somewhat shocking to others.
A TikTok user by the name of Abby Ramsay experienced this firsthand when she decided to share something on social media that would take a lot of people by surprise.
Undoubtedly, we have seen our fair share of gender reveals and people posting on social media about their impending pregnancy or recent delivery of a child. What Abby did, however, was to share something that was just a little outside of those lines.
After sharing the videos, millions of people have watched them. It starts with her going up to a congratulations box and she certainly looks excited. The paperwork on the inside, however, is associated with sterilization.
@abbysworldsastage I’m excited to take control of my own body. I’m not a baby maker. #childfree #childfreebychoice #sterilization #celebration
“If you know me, you know that I decided to live the child-free life since I was at least 16. When I turned 19 I decided to start looking into permanent sterilization. The first OBGYN I brought this up to told me I needed therapy (I was already getting therapy at the time) and told me she would not discuss it with me,” Ramsay wrote on Instagram.
“Another basically just blamed all my problems on hormones and sent me away with birth control pills, even though I told her multiple times that they made me violently ill. Another said that no one should ever get a surgery they don’t absolutely need (even after I brought up plastic surgery and my family history of ovarian cancer which the surgery would also help prevent).”
@abbysworldsastage Reply to @maddy_4224 a common question. #childfreebychoice #childfreetiktok #sterilization
“Many of these meetings left me frustrated at the least and traumatized at the most. I was infantilized and not listened to and not taken seriously. I was told I was too young to make such a permanent decision and then told I should have a baby in the same breath as if that was somehow less permanent. Finally, in December I found a doctor who listened to me, and even figured out why I have been in so much pain for years! My surgery is scheduled for February 4th, and I can’t describe the relief and excitement and nerves that I feel,” she continued. “I know my body, and I know what is right for me, and I want to thank my doctors for recognizing that and working with my needs. We need more doctors like that. Wish me luck in my surgery.”
@abbysworldsastage Reply to @zarakayn hope this answers your question! #sterilization #recovery #childfree #surgery #childfreebychoice #bisalp #endometrialablation
BuzzFeed reported that she went through a combination surgery. Doctors remove both of her fallopian tubes and then they removed part of the endometrium, which is the lining of the uterus.
She went through the operations for more than one purpose. Not only did it keep her from having children for the rest of her life, she also didn’t want to experience the difficulties associated with her heavy menstrual cycle.
Since she had insurance, she paid about $1000 for the procedures.
@abbysworldsastage Reply to @aceenargentina hope this helps ur journey! #sterilization #childfreebychoice #bisalp #childfreetiktok
Some doctors refused to do the procedure and she talked about this, saying: “The main reasonings they gave were age and possibility of regret. One said she didn’t believe in performing ‘unnecessary surgery’ and said she was against things like plastic surgery, too. The third doctor I ever saw basically insinuated that there was something wrong with me for not wanting children and said I needed to go to therapy to get my brain fixed so I could have kids someday. There were times I went home crying. Other times I just wanted to scream. Other times I just felt numb and empty. It was frustrating. My pain and my desires and my goals and my life were all dismissed because of a baby that didn’t even exist. A hypothetical person had more control over my future than I did.”
@abbysworldsastage Reply to @timotheechalametisyummy hope this helps answer some questions! #sterilization #childfreebychoice #bisalp #surgery #endometrialablation
When she finally had doctors that understood her decision, she almost cried.
“All she needed was to listen to me for five minutes before saying alright, and immediately telling me my options, and procedures she thought might be right for me. I almost burst into tears of joy right then and there,” she said. “I didn’t know how much I just needed someone to listen to me for once. To believe that maybe I knew myself better than they did. I brought that up to her a little, and to the doctor who ended up doing my surgery—my initial doctor had to get her own surgery and recommended me to her coworker—and both of them basically said, ‘You clearly know what you want and have thought about this for a long time.’ It was like a breath of fresh air.”
@abbysworldsastage Reply to @ar.pxl bug numbers. #childfree #childfreebychoice #sterilization #surgery #femalesterilization
She didn’t have to go through things over and over again, she said: “While I have many reasons for not wanting to get pregnant and wanting to be child-free—from genetics to fears and medical concerns—at the end of the day, ‘I don’t want to have kids’ is reason enough and should be respected.”
Source: Buzzfeed