When we get together for a wake after a funeral, it is a bittersweet occasion. The sadness of losing someone we love can be overwhelming but we are often able to see friends and family members whom we haven’t seen in a very long time. At times, wakes can be very sad occasions, indeed, but this wake was quite different.
The invitation read: These circumstances are unlike any party you have attended before, requiring emotional stamina, centeredness and openness.
She also had a firm rule, no crying in front of her.
The reason why she was holding the party is because this 41-year-old artist had been diagnosed with ALS, sometimes known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. It affects the nerve cells in the spinal cord and brain and she was losing control of her body as it was shutting down. She decided to hold this gathering as a way to say goodbye before becoming one of the first Californians to take a legal, lethal dose of drugs.
In essence, it was a two day party full of laughter and fun but it would end in her suicide.
The idea was hard for many of her friends and relatives to grasp. As you will see below, she gave a final performance in the way that she wanted.
Betsy Davis, a 41-year-old artist, emailed 30 of her friends and family members to invite them to a two day party. “These circumstances are unlike any party you have attended before, requiring emotional stamina, centeredness and openness,” the invitation read.
The party had one rule, no crying in front of Betsy.
Betsy had been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease (ALS) and her body was shutting down. This weekend was a way for her to say goodbye before taking the lethal dose of drugs that was prescribed by her doctor.
She shared the schedule of the weekend with her guests, including the power when she decided to slip into a coma.
It was difficult for some of her loved ones to attend the party but in the end, they wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
More than 30 people arrived from all across the country to spend two days in a mountainside home in Southern California.
They played instruments, visited with each other and ate pizza from Betsy’s favorite restaurant. They also watched screenings of her favorite movies.
Betsy was not only a painter, she was a performance artist. Lou Gehrig’s disease was causing her to lose control of her body so she spent months planning this final exit.
In the state of California, a new law permits the residents who are terminally ill to take a lethal dose of drugs under the new Dr. assisted suicide law.
During the party, her caretakers translated her speech for the guests because it was slurred as a result of her condition.
She was able to roll her electric wheelchair throughout the house, spending time with each of the guests.
The guests were also permitted to take home a souvenir, such as a piece of artwork or beauty product. Her sister had put sticky notes on each item, explaining the significance.
Niels Alpert, a cinematographer from New York City, was also at the party. He snapped these photos to capture the precious moments. “For me and everyone who was invited, it was very challenging to consider, but there was no question that we would be there for her,” he said.
“In the background of the lovely fun, smiles and laughter that we had that weekend was the knowledge of what was coming.”
Everyone gathered at the end of the weekend for a final photograph and said their goodbyes. Betsy was wheeled onto a canopy bed on the hillside and at 6:45 PM, took the lethal combination of drugs prescribed by her doctor.
Four hours later, she died.
“What Betsy did gave her the most beautiful death that any person could ever wish for,” said one of her friends. “By taking charge, she turned her departure into a work of art.”
Via: Little Things
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