It doesn’t matter who we are, from time to time, we are going to have difficulties with shameful feelings and other negative emotions. At times, it can even become a trap that is difficult to escape. If you find yourself in such a situation, take heart, as there are solutions to help you. One of those solutions is provided in a new book, written by Elisha Goldstein, PhD.
In order to overcome the negative thoughts we are experiencing, we need to identify those thoughts, recognize why they are occurring and then use that information to break free from the cycle.
A problem with negative thinking that seems to repeat endlessly in our brain can start almost anywhere. It could happen if somebody looks at you with a stern look on their face, someone blowing the horn at you in traffic or an argument with your spouse. That single negative thought can end up spiraling into a never ending cycle of everything that is wrong with you and the world.
This type of negative thinking can be destructive, so it is important to break the cycle as soon as possible. Thankfully, the author of Uncovering Happiness, Elisha Goldstein, says that it is possible once we see the big picture. Without being able to step back and take a look at it, however, we will often fail in our efforts.
Goldstein has specialized in what is known as a depression loop, which is a cycle of negative feelings, thoughts, sensations and behaviors. When we find ourselves in such a loop, it can trap us in a bad mood that is not only difficult to break, it is permanent! It often occurs with depression but it is not limited to that mood. Many people also find themselves in a depression loop if they are feeling ashamed, anxious or if they have low self-esteem.
“These loops happen automatically — we’re not consciously stepping into that spiral. We find ourselves there out of habit,”
According to research, our brains are conditioned to remember these types of bad-mood loops. They also go through 4 stages. Fortunately, changing our behavior can make a difference as it also rewires our brain.
Understanding the four parts of our negative thought cycle can be quite beneficial. If you understand those parts, you can see more clearly where to respond to the cues that are right in front of you. Goldstein has helped his patients with a four step mapping exercise.
Such an exercise begins by writing down negative thoughts, followed by the physical sensations that go along with those thoughts. Any emotions that may arise at this point are also noted and finally, you would record your behavior. Goldstein has found that many individuals have a difficulty identifying the sensations they are experiencing. It may be a matter of not being able to “see the forest through the trees,” because we are so stuck in the loop that we can’t identify what is being felt. Often, when Goldstein has suggested examples of what is being felt, they are more likely to identify it.
If you try this exercise and have a difficulty identifying your cues, try starting with behaviors that you know are negative. Even if you can’t fully identify your thoughts, identifying bad habits can often give you a foundation for this exercise. Those bad habits may include overeating, over drinking or sleeping all day. Once you understand how you feel physically, you can begin to work backward and fill in the pieces.
It may be impossible to completely avoid downward spirals of negative thoughts. That being said, Goldstein feels that mapping out loops can help you to break free from the trap of negative thinking and get back to your life as quickly as possible.
Begin by writing the answers to the following exercise:
Loop 1
Thoughts:
Emotions:
Sensations:
Behavior:
Loop 2
Thoughts:
Emotions:
Sensations:
Behavior:
Loop 3
Thoughts:
Emotions:
Sensations:
Behavior:
Loop 4
Thoughts:
Emotions:
Sensations:
Behavior:
Loop 5
Thoughts:
Emotions:
Sensations:
Behavior:
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