An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset, to say the least. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and … Read more
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick’s Day. At one point, Mick the bartender says, ‘You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy’. Paddy replies, ‘OK Mick, I’ll be on my way then’. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls … Read more
Mary is the proprietor of a bar in Dublin . She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronise her bar. To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later. She … Read more
I took the family out to eat at AppleBees. The lot was full and I saw a customer come out to leave so I waited around 10 minutes for him to pull out and take the spot. Guy pulls out and a car full of young girls just pull in to my spot. You know … Read more
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows and he hears a … Read more
This sucks. Robin Williams was an awesome guy. 17 years ago, my Dad’s dad killed my grandma and then himself in a drunken rage. We held a massive service at the church my dad’s mom attended in San Francisco. It was obviously a hard night for my dad. My parents stayed late in the city … Read more
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.” The driver says, “Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.” Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: “Now don’t be silly, dear — you … Read more
When we are a parent of a teenage child, we become accustomed to being told that we are intruding on their lives. They want to grow up too quickly in many cases and certainly, at the age of 16, a child is ready to spread their wings to a certain extent. Sometimes, however, things go … Read more
This is a story about a man waking up after a wild night in his home. He had no idea what his wife was going to do. Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Halloween Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. … Read more
1. They’ll stop what they’re doing to take a nap. Doesn’t matter where they are. Doesn’t matter who they’re with. Via youtube.com 2. They all make faces like this: Via reddit.com 3. They conduct themselves poorly in public. Via dailyanarchist.tumblr.com 4. Their depth perception is all over the place. Via reddit.com 5. Seriously, they just … Read more