A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table: “To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, … Read more
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod … Read more
(We are having a book drive for a local school that has had a terrible fire, causing it to lose its entire library. When customers come up, we are allowed to tell them about the drive and ask if they would like to donate. If not, it is okay, but we ask just the same.) … Read more
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have Sex?” “No,” she answered. I then said, “Is that your final answer?” … She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes..” So I said, … Read more
A married lady was expecting a birthday gift from her husband. For many months she had admired a beautiful diamond ring in a showroom, and knowing her husband could afford it, she told him that was all she wanted. As her birthday approached, this lady awaited signs that her husband had purchased the diamond ring. … Read more
A beautiful, expensively dressed lady complained to her psychiatrist that she felt her whole life was empty, it had no meaning. So, the lady went to visit a counselor to seek out happiness. The counselor called over the old lady who cleaned the office floors. He then said to the rich lady “I’m going to ask Mary here … Read more
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, ‘You Can Be The Man of Your House.’ He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced: ‘From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, … Read more
The other night I was out at the bar, enjoying some time away from the house and the kids. I’m a stay at home mom, so every couple of weeks I need a break. NEED. I like to go out singing at my favorite karaoke bar. It lets me stretch out in my own skin for … Read more
I was in the coffee shop on my college campus studying when two older men came in and sat down on the other side of the room. One of the men started talking about his wife, and when he asked the other man about his wife, this is what was said. “Man…I was 21 when … Read more
To my husband, after I’ve had babies, Can you remember the time we took that vacation. To a tropical island. We joked and laughed and drank fruity frozen cocktails. I wore a bikini and we had sex in the middle of the afternoon. It seems like forever ago. Before my stretch marks and C-section scar. … Read more
I’m a cop, and I try to intervene whenever I see bad things happening, even when I’m off duty. So here’s my story. I’ve dealt with domestic violence calls for my whole career, but it was rare to actually see someone abusing their spouse in public. I was having a coffee at a local diner … Read more
One morning a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and reads her book. Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and … Read more
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it … Read more
I remember when I first started having feelings for my now husband. The stronger the feelings got, the more I fought them. After a rough divorce a couple of years prior, I was done with this whole love thing. I was perfectly content with my personal romance with cynicism, and I wasn’t going to allow … Read more
In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared. Whenever they heard his tires crunch on … Read more
My husband came home today and saw me sitting on the couch, toddler on one knee, and baby nursing on the opposite breast. I was trying to turn the pages of a book with the hand not attached to the infant, while listening to the sound of the stove buzzer, which would indicate that tonight’s … Read more
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said. “Stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s … Read more
A Wife Asks Her Husband if She Were to Die, Would He Remarry? Her husband says “Yes I would remarry, I like living a married life and spending time with someone else.” The wife gets uncomfortable and asked him: “Well, would you let her live in our house?” And the husband says “Yes, I’d let … Read more