Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him “Rover” or “Boy.” I call mine “Sex.” Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, “I’d like to have … Read more
A woman and a lawyer were seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asked if she would like to play a fun game. The woman, tired, just wanted to take a nap. She politely declined and rolled over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer … Read more
A POLISH man moved to the US and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well – until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on … Read more
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked … Read more
Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” wonders one of the lawyers. “Watch, and you’ll see,” replies one of … Read more
A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In … Read more
These are from things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?” ATTORNEY: … Read more
One day a Madam opened the joy house door and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. “May I help you?” she asked. “I want to see Valerie,” the man replied. “Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,” said the … Read more
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment … Read more
This lady was really pissed off about how a restaurant handled one of her orders. She took to yelp and wrote a scathing review. The owner of the restaurant found out and decided to answer her. This is probably the best way to respond to an unsatisfied customer. What do you think of this?