Man Gets Pulled Over Going 80 MPH

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.” The driver says, “Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.” Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: “Now don’t be silly, dear — you … Read more

His Boss Never Expected To Hear This On The Phone

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not rung in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with a main computer, he phoned the employee’s home number and was greeted with a child’s whisper, ‘Hello?’ ‘Is your Daddy home?’ he asked. ‘Yes’, whispered the small voice. ‘May I speak to him?’ … Read more

Doctor Explains The Standard Procedure For Brain Transplant

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. “I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces. “The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a … Read more

Cop Stops A Man For Speeding, But Never Expected This.

The Pope is visiting New York. A limo driver meets him at the airport. After getting all of Pope John Paul’s luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn’t travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. “Excuse me, Your Holiness,” says the driver. “Would you please take your … Read more