Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Juan. The guard says, “We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties … Read more
Fred and Mary get married but can’t afford a honeymoon, so they go back to mom and dads for the night. In the morning, little Johnny gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mum if Fred and Mary are up yet. … Read more
Ask any mother and they will tell you that having a baby was one of the best decisions they ever made in life. There is nothing quite like holding that little bundle of joy and embarking on a lifelong journey with your new family. That being said, pregnancy and childbirth is also a time when … Read more
Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: “Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?” Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. “Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands … Read more
Man Asks How To Make Women Truly Happy. This Is Gold
An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant. They order one hamburger, one order of fries and one drink. The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles and … Read more
Guy Accidentally Sends His Valentine This Horrifying Note. This Is Hilarious
A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for £250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Chucks house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.” Chuck replied, “Well, then just give me my money … Read more
This is a story about a man waking up after a wild night in his home. He had no idea what his wife was going to do. Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Halloween Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. … Read more
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock … Read more
An elderly couple go to their doctor to ask what they can do to improve their short term memory. “Forgetfulness is common at your age. Just get into the habit of writing down the things you need to do and then it won’t be so easy to forget.” Later that evening, the couple settles down … Read more
An African lumberjack is interviewing for a job at a major logging company. The foreman decides to take a practical route and hands the lumberjack an axe. “Take a couple swings at that tree over there.” The foreman said. The lumberjack walks over to the tree and fells it in a single chop. “Holy smokes, … Read more
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively … Read more
There is an old principal of law that is typically referred to by a latin term, Caveat emptor. When translated, it means “let the buyer beware,” and it is a principle of contract law that basically is stating that you should be cautious when buying anything without a contract or a guarantee in place. Sometimes … Read more
A married couple is traveling to visit family by car. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to get a room. They only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out four hours later, the desk … Read more
Boy At School Explains The Strategy of The Government Perfectly. This Is So True
Can it get ANY cuter? These 11 letters from children written to God are PRICELESS! Our children continue to amaze and surprise us with their innocence and wisdom. God loves us as His children, just like these parents love Jane, Joyce and Jennifer. His love for us runs so deep that it’s difficult to understand. … Read more
