A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table: “To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, … Read more
Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell fast asleep. When Brian awoke a few hours later he found a strange man was standing at the … Read more
When Arika Stovall and her boyfriend Hunter slammed into a pole driving 85 miles per hour, the crash alone should have killed them instantly.
Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick’s Day. At one point, Mick the bartender says, ‘You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy’. Paddy replies, ‘OK Mick, I’ll be on my way then’. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls … Read more
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have Sex?” “No,” she answered. I then said, “Is that your final answer?” … She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes..” So I said, … Read more
A teacher was tutoring a class of students when she shared the amazing story of a cruise ship capsized at sea. You won’t believe what lesson this class learned from the story. A cruise ship had an accident at sea and needed to evacuate the passengers. One couple, having made their way to the lifeboats, realized that … Read more
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, ‘You Can Be The Man of Your House.’ He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced: ‘From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, … Read more
The other night I was out at the bar, enjoying some time away from the house and the kids. I’m a stay at home mom, so every couple of weeks I need a break. NEED. I like to go out singing at my favorite karaoke bar. It lets me stretch out in my own skin for … Read more
I was in the coffee shop on my college campus studying when two older men came in and sat down on the other side of the room. One of the men started talking about his wife, and when he asked the other man about his wife, this is what was said. “Man…I was 21 when … Read more
The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On … Read more
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his … Read more
The tired ex-teacher edged closer in a long line to the counter at Kmart supermarket. Her left leg was hurt because of too much stress, and she hoped she had taken all of her pills that the doctor gave her for the day: the ones for her high blood pressure, dizziness and the host of … Read more
I’m a cop, and I try to intervene whenever I see bad things happening, even when I’m off duty. So here’s my story. I’ve dealt with domestic violence calls for my whole career, but it was rare to actually see someone abusing their spouse in public. I was having a coffee at a local diner … Read more
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation that was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and … Read more
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it’s not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it … Read more
My husband came home today and saw me sitting on the couch, toddler on one knee, and baby nursing on the opposite breast. I was trying to turn the pages of a book with the hand not attached to the infant, while listening to the sound of the stove buzzer, which would indicate that tonight’s … Read more
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said. “Stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s … Read more
There are some cases where you don’t give your wife lip, where if you don’t know what to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all. In this case, this man kept his regrets for a full week. A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out … Read more