One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife ‘Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!’ His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the … Read more
A poor boy was in love with a rich man’s daughter. One day, the boy proposed to her, and the girl said, “Your monthly salary is equivalent to my daily expenses. How can I be involved with you?” She went on, “How could you have thought of that? I can never love you, so forget … Read more
Mary was married to a male chauvinist… They both worked full-time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman’s work! But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the … Read more
Two women go out one weekend without their husbands. They go to a bar, have a chat along with a couple of drinks and then head back home. On their way home one of them turns to the other and says: “Sorry, but I need to go to a toilet. Can we stop for a … Read more
This woman went through the most difficult period of her life but was surprised with her husband’s support throughout her fight with cancer. He found me weeping bitterly in the hospital room. “What’s wrong?” Richard asked, knowing that we both had reason to cry. In the past forty-eight hours, I learned that I had a … Read more
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn’t know what to call her so we named her … Read more
A man came home from work and found his 3 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around the garden. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog. Walking in the … Read more
After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junky car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV. But hey I got to sleep every night with a hottie, a 23-year-old … Read more
My wife and I went to the State Fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, ‘ THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR ‘ My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled … Read more
The other day, a girl wanted to know how her hubby would react if she left without telling him where she had gone. So she decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn’t want to live with him any more and after writing, she put the letter on the table … Read more
First off a little back story. My husband is a 27 year old Iraq veteran. He was injured while on patrol, and has a severe spinal injury, a leg injury, a traumatic brain injury, and severe post traumatic stress disorder. (Who wouldn’t after being blown up?) He can walk for short periods of time, with … Read more
It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80’s arrived at the hospital to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he hod an appointment at 9:00 am. The nurse took his vital signs and told him take a seat, knowing it would … Read more
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows and he hears a … Read more
It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big … Read more
A young couple were having their first child together, and both of them were extremely excited. However, the husband absolutely refused to be in the room with his wife while the actual birth was taking place. “There’s no way you can get me in there,” he would always say. “I don’t know why husbands are … Read more
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was shy and the other a … Read more
A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they’re just lying there, the phone rings. Since it’s the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: “Hello? Oh, … Read more
